Bona's, round three

Monday, August 29, 2011

     Today was the first day of classes, but not for me. Although sleeping until noon’s rewards were not disguised, I felt misplaced without my fresh notebook and RSVP pens strapped to my back in the Hickey.  Not to worry, Amanda.  Tomorrow, you’ll be glad you had today. Three undergrad classes separate my morning from my evening, two in which the promise of interviews and deadlines will call official end to summer vacation. The other?  I’ve read the Odyssey already.

     I was unable to find a food today that I could swallow down as a side salad to my feelings.  Both do well together somewhere deep inside my tummy, but instead, emptiness left both my mind and Pooh Bear belly unsatisfied.

     Maybe it’s You I’m craving, God, if not even Kyle’s kisses or Halloween Oreos will sooth my sweet tooth.  I know you’re out there somewhere.

     Speaking of courage, which I wasn’t, maybe I need to reach out for You.

     I wish I could whistle.

     I wonder if I will move to Indiana in three years.  I wonder how the advertising market is there.  Maybe houses are cheaper.  I bet they like cats.  That would be nice, I think.  To get a bunch of cats.  And name them corncob and amber and milk, to match the corn and the grain and the cows. 

     I bet I’d get freckles.  I bet I would never be expected to straighten my hair or wear eyeliner.

     Maybe I can make it out there.  Maybe I need You.  Maybe we need You.

     Funny, now it seems silly to think we didn’t.

     I’m not ready yet, God.  But I know you won’t give up on me.  Like my lips to his, I will always come back to You.